Conio-Mandments...ka-stress!

Last night on my way home, I was listening to Magic 89.9, Night out With the Boys. They were talking about the guidelines on how to be "conio." So, they came-up with the Conio-Mandments. I didn't lsten to all because I got tired but here are some:

Fist, thou shall make gamit "make + pandiwa"

For example, can you please make pasa the truffles.

(kelangan talaga mae pasa? di ba pwedeng pass nalang? ----conio nga e! ano ba, bakit kasi paki-elam ako!)



Second, thou shall make gamit "e, 'no, diba" in a sentence, as many times as possible, no matter where you put it and how incomprehensible it will be

Example, Kasi diba I wasn't able to attend the party e, pero you dont worry 'no,...

(Galing naman! napagsamaama ang 'no, diba, e sa isang linya! no wonder why I the sentence construction was vague)



Third, thou shall make gamit "so + panlarawan"

Example, Grabe, this place is so mabaho!
Why is it so nakakadiri naman here?!

(Grabe, you are so maarte, lam mo yun? pwede naman sabihin so stinky. hmmm, siguro di nya alam english ng mabaho ano? ...acceptable in that case. kaya regaluhan kita teh ng dictionary, basahin mo, try lang teh.)



Fourth, Thou shall make gamit "dude-pare" if you're a guy

Example, Dude-pare you're mabagal naman o, we're late.

(lul! dude-pare dude-pare ka pa dyan! if I know type mo yung dude-pare mo!)



Fifth, thou shall make gamit "I know right" in a sentence

Example, My hair dress is so maganda, I know right.?.

(pwede ba? di ko tuloy ma-quantify kung anong type ng sentence mo! What do you mean "I know right" di ka ba sure kung alam mo kung ano man yung nalalaman mo o talagang di ka lang sure sa mga pinagsasabi mo? ka-stress! a teh!)



Sixth, thou shall make gamit plural noun

Example, Yaya, let's go to the bank na, I hve many peras to deposit.

(Kala ko ba you have many "peras"? Bakit mukang di ka nakapagenroll ng basic english nung elementary?)


Well guys, it's up to you wether to use these if you want to be one of them. Ka-stress sila, nawindang ako!